ESTAS LOCO!

By Roger Esty

After a swim and a light workout in the gym I told my wife that I was going to look up an old friend and that I would be back in a couple of hours. I kissed my wife and said goodby to her and my grand daughter who's nine months pregnant. She's staying with us until my 5th great grandchild is ready to pop out of the hopper.

Well my friend wasn't home, I think. Maybe he was,but wasn't answering the door. He just went through a rough divorce. There was a sign on the door that read "Do Not Disturb !!!". It might have been that he didn't want to see anyone right now. OK with me. I didn't want to hear the gory details anyway.

So I drove back home. I noticed that no one was around and figured my wife and grand daughter went for a walk to the store. I went out to the back balcony where I do my painting to check if my painting of Sugar Ray Robinson was drying .

Our balcony over looks a huge canyon. It's a State Park. The name of the reserve is Tecolote Canyon. Well I hear this noise going on below the balcony coming from the canyon.I can't see who's talking ,but they're speaking Spanish and the voices are female. Had to be my wife and grand daughter.

Now you might be wonderin' what I was thinking when I heard this commotion. No. I knew what was going on. This ritual has occured before. It's the cactus gathering to make "nopales'. Nopales with eggs. Nopales tacos. Nopales juice.

I've told my wife a hundred times that you can't go down there and do that. It's a State Park and it's against the law to take anything out of there. Even a rock.

I wait for Pocahantas and her 9 month pregnant assisstant to emerge from behind the bushes. They are both carrying a bucket full of cactus leaves and inside the buckets are their Bowie knives.They're stompin' up the hill like they just scalped Custer's 7th Cavalry.
"I told you not to do that ,"I yelled at my wife.
"Porque? No bother no body. Only nopales."
"You know why. That's a California State park. You can't take nothin' out of a State Park."
My pregnant grand daughter was standing behind my wife mouth shut.
"If the Ranger catches you,he'll fine you."
Then to scare her.
"And who knows maybe they'll deport you too."
My wife scattered the cactus on the dining room table and handed a knife to my grand daughter. I shook my head. They sat down and started to peel the skin off the cactus leaves.
"You know what,"said my wife. "You crazy. Estas loco!"