THE DAY I LET THE CONVICTS LOOSE

By Roger Esty

When we were hanging out at the beach everyday validating the term "beach bum",one of the visitors to our little haven on the sand was the Animal Control Officer. I may have been a beach bum at the time,but I wouldn't have taken that job for all the sand at the beach.

Where we hung out north of the pier in Ocean Beach was sort of secluded and we we looked at it as our territory. We'd surf and drink beer and then go back into the water. Lay out in the sun. Drink beer. Go back into the water. All day it was like that. We didn't like strangers coming in. We didn't like the cops because they knew we were under age drinking. We didn't like the Animal Control Officer,the mean 'ol dog catcher. Who does? What a bummer of a job.

Well this old hag that drove the dog catcher truck would make an appearance every afternoon doing her duty of enticing the nice dogs up to her truck and then whipping a choke collar on them and throwing them in the back of the truck. This old bag was uglier than the dogs she was incarcerating, and I'd dream at night of throwing her in the back of the trucks with the rest of the dogs. She'd fit in with all the other bitches.

One of the days when this witch was on the prowl,we saw her get out of the truck and start chasing this little Chihuahua dog across the beach. She had her choke collar in hand and was gaining ground on this little fellow. She lassooed him finally and was yanking him across the beach to put him in the paddy wagon.

I'd been drinking and surfing all day and when I saw this I'd had enough. i staggered up to the truck as this gloved battle ax was pulling on the dog. I could hear all kinds of dogs inside the back of the truck howling and crying. Now this she creature wanted to add another prisoner. I was trying to think of something.
"Officer. This is my dog. Give him to me please."
"So this is your dog?," said wrinkle face.
"Yes", I said in a very forgiving tone.
"Well if this is your dog,put him in the truck. He's got no license."
"Okay ma'am. If you insist."

All of a sudden a rush of energy surged through me. In the meantime a crowd had gathered around watching this spectacle. I did my duty. I opened the door and let all the dogs escape including the little Chihuahua who I had by the collar. You should have seen this witch shriek as all the dogs scampered down the street.
"I'm a police officer. You can't do that. You broke the law!!"
The 'ol bag got on her phone and called a patrol car. In a minute here came a black and white. The 'ol bag was beside herself describing to the police officer about what I just did. Now the crowd was growing, anticipating of what was going to happen next.

Well the cuffs were slapped on me and I was shoved into the back of the squad car. I got a round of applause from the suntanned bystanders, and then they took me to jail. They booked me and put me in a holding tank until my father could come down and bail me out.

Inside the holding tank waiting for my dad, me and the rest of the prisoners were sharing our experiances of how we wound up in jail. Funny,the cops arrested everyone who was innocent that day. When i took my turn to tell my story of how I let the dogs out of the dog catcher's truck,I must have made an impression. The other prisoners voted me to be the cell captain of the holding tank. An honor i cherish to this day.